


(love)sick

by discworld



Category: THE iDOLM@STER, THE iDOLM@STER: SideM
Genre: Accidental Confession, M/M, Sickfic, they are not smart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21789268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discworld/pseuds/discworld
Summary: Bros told each other they loved each other all the time, didn't they? They were just dudes being guys. That was all. No romantic implications here, just deep-seated, bromantic feelings.
Relationships: Akai Suzaku/Kurono Genbu
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	(love)sick

Suzaku rang the buzzer outside of Genbu’s apartment building. It was rather cold outside, and the light drizzle was picking up—today, of course, had been the day Suzaku forgot to bring his umbrella, but in his defense, he had other priorities. He tapped his foot impatiently, doing his best to hide in the small alcove near the entrance that wasn’t quite enough to protect him from the rain and the wind. After about a minute, he grumbled to himself and pressed the button again. No response. He pressed it a third time. As he was about to make his fourth attempt, the crackling of the intercom being answered from the other side came through the speaker, and he sighed in relief.

“I shouldn’t be gettin’ any mail today,” Genbu’s voice mumbled, very clearly hoarse and stuffy with cold. “Who’s there? What d’ya need?” He sounded like he was about to continue, but whatever budding question he had was cut off by a hacking cough.

“You don’t sound so good, Genbu,” Suzaku said with a frown.

Suzaku could’ve sworn he heard Genbu jump. “Suzaku?! What are you doin’ here? It’s eight a.m. on a Thursday, why aren’t you at  _ school _ , idiot?”

Now that he thought about it, it really did kind of feel like he was being a bit of an idiot.

“Well, uh, I knew you were sick, so I wanted to… come keep ya company, and all that… uh… I brought soup!”

“I can take care of myself just fine, Suzaku. You didn’t need to come here.”

“Well, I’m here anyway,” Suzaku retorted. “Lemme in, it’s cold out here.”

Genbu sighed and buzzed Suzaku in.

As soon as Suzaku got to Genbu’s apartment, he ran a hand through his now-wet hair and knocked. “It’s unlocked,” Genbu grunted from inside, so he let himself in.

Genbu’s apartment was just about as modest as it gets. After all, he was seventeen and living alone—there wasn’t much he could afford when he first moved to Yokohama, and even since becoming an idol and making a salary, he hadn’t bothered to move. “The minimalist lifestyle suits me,” he’d said to Suzaku a few months back, but Suzaku wouldn’t call the two-room apartment “minimalist” so much as “way too small for anyone to be comfortable in.” He thought they should probably make special apartments for people as tall as Genbu, since the size of his humble abode made him appear to be even more of a giant by contrast.

Nonetheless, Genbu had made the place home. The chipping off-white paint on the walls had been covered up with paintings and photographs; potted plants brought a little bit of life to the dim living room despite its one tiny window; the alcove called a “kitchen” that could barely fit the both of them was fully stocked with groceries and rife with cookbooks and recipe magazines. Every shelf and cabinet was kept tidy and clean, inside and out. Really, for a high schooler living on his own, Suzaku thought Genbu was doing pretty well.

The boy in question, however, wasn’t doing so well himself. He looked far more of a mess than his living space. His normally styled hair fell unkempt down his forehead, almost covering up his glasses and blocking his vision entirely. Suzaku recognized that his shirt was the same one he’d worn the previous day, and the too-short sweatpants must’ve been a pair Suzaku had forgotten here on his last visit. His nose was red, his eyes were watery, and his right hand was clutching a tissue box while his left gingerly cradled a mug of tea.

Suzaku wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Genbu looking so pathetic.

“Can I ask you why you decided to cut class and take the train all the way here, just to pay your sick partner a visit?” Genbu mumbled. Suzaku could tell he was trying to look angry, but he looked a little too much like a big, sad puppy, and the little sneeze he tried (and failed) to hold back didn’t help his case.

“Well, uh,” Suzaku began, scratching the back of his neck. “When I was sick growin’ up, I always had someone to look after me, and uh… Y’know, ya live alone and all that. So I realized that ya don’t have anyone makin’ sure you’re doin’ good, and it made me kinda sad. ‘Cause you’re my best friend, ya know? And I wanna be sure you’re okay! So, uh… I kinda… sorta… decided I should just do it myself. Y’know. Lookin’ after ya and all.” 

He did care about Genbu. He cared about him a lot. They’d stuck together since the moment they met, and they’d sworn to do everything possible to protect each other. Wouldn’t protecting Genbu from the flu, like,  _ technically _ count? It would, wouldn’t it?

Suzaku looked over at Genbu, feeling a little dumb, but the way Genbu’s eyes softened eased the tension in his shoulders. Genbu was quiet for a few moments before sighing and saying, “Just don’t  _ ever _ skip school again, ya hear me?”

“Loud and clear, partner,” Suzaku said with an enthusiastic nod. He grinned and lifted up the bag he was holding. “‘Kay, so I got ya some cough syrup, a bunch of soup, some—”

“Hold up. Suzaku, was it raining outside? You’ll catch a cold too,” Genbu interrupted, his brows knit with concern. “Go get a towel from the bathroom and dry your hair before ya come anywhere near me, got it?”

Suzaku rolled his eyes. “ _ I _ came here to take care of  _ you, _ ya dummy.”

Genbu just scowled. Defeated, Suzaku set the bag on the kitchen counter and shuffled into the tiny bathroom. He kept the towels on the top shelf of the cupboard on the left, Suzaku knew. He practically knew Genbu’s home like the back of his hand—there wasn’t that much to memorize, anyway. After giving up on trying to make his hair keep its shape, Suzaku ruffled his wet locks with the towel, letting the messy strands hang loose. It wasn’t as if he’d be going anywhere today, so he was okay with looking a little bit messy.

When he re-emerged into the living room, Genbu was pouring him a cup of tea. Suzaku began to protest, to insist that Genbu didn’t need to show normal hospitality towards him when he was in  _ that _ state, but he found the mug shoved into his hands before he could say anything.

“Here, so you can warm up,” Genbu insisted.

Suzaku frowned. “Oi, stop it. You gotta let yourself rest, y’know? Stop tryin’ to look after me, I ain’t the one who’s sneezin’ every fifteen seconds.” 

Genbu opened his mouth to argue, but a sneeze interrupted him, proving Suzaku’s point. “Alright, fine. You win. You’re in charge, now what?”

“Well, ah…” Suzaku honestly didn’t think he’d get this far. “You should… probably go lie down. Oh, and take some medicine! I gotcha some of that, but I wasn’t sure what flavor you’d like, so I bought every kind. Grape, cherry, and, uh, I don’t actually know what this one is, but it’s kinda greenish? I dunno if I trust that… I can make ya some soup or somethin’ too, to hold ya over. So… whaddaya say?”

Fifteen minutes later, Genbu was reclined on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table, while Suzaku sat next to him holding a bowl of miso soup and a spoon. He grinned at Genbu expectantly, and Genbu scowled.

“...Yeah,  _ not _ happening.”

“What, c’mon! Ya need to lie down but ya need to eat, this is the easiest option.”

“Suzaku, I’m not ill enough that I’ll allow ya to spoon-feed me broth. I can handle that much.”

“ _ Genbuuuuuuu… _ Ya said I’m in charge…” Suzaku looked at Genbu with the best puppy dog eyes he could manage.

Genbu sighed and closed his eyes. “So I did,” he muttered. “‘Kay, then. If you insist.”

As Suzaku gently held the spoon out to Genbu, his partner’s gaze shifted away, and Genbu quickly swallowed the soup as if he was in a rush. A light flush spread up Genbu’s cheeks. Was the soup really that hot, Suzaku wondered? He scrunched up his eyebrows and ate a spoonful of the soup himself. Nope, it wasn’t that bad. It must’ve been Genbu’s cold.

When he looked back over, his partner’s mouth was gaping, and his eyes were wide in shock. The pink tint had turned to more of a furious red.

Man, Genbu really  _ was _ sick, huh.

“Y-you,” Genbu stammered, “you  _ do _ realize that eating from the same spoon is, uh—you’ll get sick too, y’know? You’re an idiot.”

“Ah, well. Too late. If it gets me, it gets me,” Suzaku replied noncommittally, holding out another spoonful to Genbu. “Open wide!”

Genbu stared at him incredulously for a moment before taking a deep breath and obeying.

When the soup was finally gone (Suzaku wasn’t quite sure why Genbu had been so reluctant, but whatever), and Genbu had taken his cold medicine, he went into his bedroom to sleep, leaving Suzaku alone in the living-room-slash-kitchen. Suzaku instinctively decided to turn on the TV before he remembered that Genbu didn’t have one.

He looked around the apartment. The shelves were full of books, books, and, uh, more books. There wasn’t really anything to do except…  _ read. _

Suzaku shuddered at the thought.

But after ten minutes of sitting on the couch and attempting to braid his own hair, he was getting pretty bored. Gingerly, he tiptoed over to one of the bookshelves and perused the titles.  _ Intermediate Developmental Psychology, _ read one.  _ Biology on the Molecular Level, _ said another.  _ Physiological Encyclopedia. Language and How We Speak It. Integral Calculus for Dummies. _

Ah, Suzaku was dumb. Maybe he’d be able to understand that one.

As it turned out, he could not. The very first page mentioned something called “long division” which he wasn’t sure he ever learned. And what the  _ hell _ was a “logarithm”? SOHCAHTOA could only get him so far (that is to say, the second part of the introduction). He was starting to get a headache, and he prayed to Nyako that it was because of the book and not because he’d contracted Genbu’s cold.

He didn’t feel any other symptoms. He was doing fine, right? Not running a temperature as far as he could tell. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d coughed, which was either a good thing or a product of his inability to remember things. Everything was perfectly okay, wasn’t it? Why had Genbu been so worried about him getting sick? It wasn’t like sharing a spoon was going to give Suzaku a virus. His computer had endured worse than some soup, and it still only had a few viruses on it. (Seriously, when was he going to get that free iPad?)

Maybe now was a good time to go check on Genbu. It hadn’t even been an hour, but Suzaku was bored out of his mind, and he wanted to make sure Genbu was actually sleeping and not, say, reading about integral calculus, whatever  _ that _ was. When he knocked on the door, there was no response, so he gently pushed it open.

“Genbu?” he whispered, careful not to disturb his friend too much.

“Mm,” Genbu grumbled. Suzaku shut the door and walked over to his bedside.

He crouched down and rested a hand on Genbu’s forehead. There was a bit of a fever, he thought, but not too much. “How’re ya feelin’?”

“‘M okay. Tired.”

“A li’l’ less sick?”

“Can’t tell.”

“Eh, that’s better than a no.” Suzaku stood up and patted Genbu’s head softly. “I’m gonna leave ya to rest more, ‘kay? Need anythin’?”

“I’m good.”

“‘Kay. Holler if ya need me. I’ll go back to, uh, not reading.”

As Suzaku walked toward the door, Genbu stopped him. “Oi, Suzaku.”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for helpin’ me out,” Genbu said quietly. “I love ya.”

Suzaku froze.

“W-wait, what? What’d ya say? U-uh, um, Genbu?” He ran back over to the bed, but Genbu was out cold. As many questions as he had, Suzaku didn’t dare wake him. Shakily, he turned back to the door, shut it behind him, and flung himself down on the couch face-first.

_ I love ya. _ That was a lot to unpack. Genbu…  _ loved _ him? No, that didn’t sound right. He must’ve misheard. There was no way Genbu would say that… Oh, who was he kidding. His ears weren’t  _ that _ bad.

He probably just meant it as a friend thing, didn’t he? They  _ were _ best friends. They relied on each other for everything and had each other’s backs no matter what. They had a true bond. They were soulmates. But in a bro way. Right? Bros told each other they loved each other all the time, didn’t they? They were just dudes being guys. That was all. No romantic implications here, just deep-seated, bromantic feelings.

Except that Suzaku couldn’t think of a single time Genbu had ever said that to him before. Genbu was pretty reserved, and even if he did sometimes bluntly say things that got Suzaku flustered (“the man I’m encaptivated with,” seriously, what the hell  _ was _ that?), he wasn’t the type to really be bold about his feelings. Suzaku was sure Genbu loved him as a friend, but he’d never heard the words come out of his mouth. This felt different. It felt like it carried more. There was something about it that had made Suzaku panic, to the point that he was where he was now—lying down on Genbu’s couch with his face buried in the cushions.

So, did Genbu really, actually  _ love _ him? What did that entail? Genbu had feelings for him? Genbu wanted to date him? Genbu wanted to hold Suzaku’s hand and kiss him under the stars? Why was that what Suzaku thought of, and why was the image of it making his cheeks burn? He scowled into the pillow. Now that he thought about it, maybe he  _ did _ want Genbu to hold his hand and kiss him under the stars. Maybe he wanted to curl up against Genbu’s side on this very couch while they watched a dumb movie on Genbu’s laptop and paid zero attention to it. Maybe, just maybe, he wanted to get up right now and go into Genbu’s room and lie down next to him and hold him so that he didn’t get cold as he slept. And what about it, huh?

_ Oh god, _ Suzaku thought. He sat up and covered his mouth with his hand.  _ Maybe I love him too. _

But then… then what would he do? Would he just saunter up to Genbu and say, “Hey, I feel the same, let’s date”? That’d be way too forward. There was always the chance that Genbu didn’t remember saying it in the first place, since he was drugged up on cough syrup. That’d make things kind of awkward. Suzaku didn’t really want to explain the whole situation if Genbu didn’t remember it himself.

And it was always possible that Genbu didn’t mean it at all, that it was just some stupid thing that slipped out while he was half-asleep and woozy.

Suzaku groaned and collapsed back down on the couch. He hadn’t thought this hard about anything in years.

Maybe he should sleep on it, he decided. His brain could be playing tricks on him. He should probably make sure he really wanted to do something about this before bringing it up, right? And if not, then he could just pretend it never happened and move on with his life.

Yeah, sleeping was a good idea. He might feel better if he took a short nap. Genbu was asleep anyway, so it wouldn’t cause any issues.

He awoke to the smell of soup coming from the other side of the room. Groaning, he rolled over to see Genbu sitting at the kitchen counter, quietly slurping a bowl of instant ramen. “Oh, you’re up,” Genbu said, turning to face him. “I didn’t wanna wake you, so I just made dinner myself. I’d offer to make ya somethin’, but, well, still sick. Sorry.”

“I-uh, uh, i-it’s okay, don’t worry ‘bout it,” Suzaku stammered. He felt his cheeks getting hot, and he ran a hand through his hair nervously. Just looking at Genbu was making his brain hurt. Clearly, sleeping on it had done absolutely nothing.

Genbu raised his eyebrows in concern. “You okay there, buddy?”

“Uh, yeah, I-I’m totally okay,” Suzaku lied clumsily. “Nothin’ wrong here. Just woke up, feelin’ kinda out of it, you know how it is.”

“Well… alright, I guess,” Genbu said with a frown. “Lemme know if ya need anythin’, though.”

“‘Kay—wait, oi! I’m still supposed to be lookin’ after ya, stop tryin’ to get all responsible on me!”

“Says the one who fell asleep on my couch and left me to make my own soup.”

“Genbuuuuuu… I’m sorry, I was tired…”

“I’m just messin’ with ya,” Genbu chuckled. He stood up and tossed the empty styrofoam bowl into the trash. “For real, it was a big help havin’ ya here. Thanks to you, I’m feelin’ better already.”

The smile he gave Suzaku was like a gunshot to the chest. If this were a shoujo manga, there would’ve been sparkles and roses filling the room. Wait,  _ what? _ Suzaku quickly shook the thought away. He was really thrown out of his mind earlier. Too much thinking wasn’t good for him.

“Ah… I’m glad,” he murmured, smiling weakly. “Well, I probably gotta head home, if that’s okay… Sorry for passin’ out on your couch. Next time I’ll do a better job keepin’ an eye on ya, ‘kay?”

“There won’t be a ‘next time.’ You promised not to skip school again,” Genbu reminded him.

Suzaku groaned. “If ya get sick on a Saturday, just call me.”

Laughing, Genbu walked over to where Suzaku had stood up from the couch. “Thanks again, partner. Hopefully I’ll be back on my feet tomorrow. Get home safe.”

“Roger.” Suzaku stretched his arms one last time and walked toward the door to put his shoes on. But before he could leave, Genbu stopped him.

“Here, since you forgot yours. But I’m gonna want it back.” He held out his umbrella. “Take care of yourself, Suzaku.”

Suzaku nodded, taking the umbrella. “Th-thanks a bunch, Genbu! I’ll give it right back tomorrow, I promise! U-uh… See ya!” Grinning, he walked outside and shut the door behind him.

He exhaled deeply. What’d Genbu have to be so caring and insightful for? His heart was doing backflips, and Genbu’s voice saying  _ I love ya _ echoed in his mind. Would Genbu have done that for anyone else? Maybe… maybe, he actually felt that way about Suzaku. Maybe it wasn’t just some fever-induced, nonsensical mumbling. If he did actually love Suzaku… well, Suzaku would have to do something about it some other time.

It just then hit him that he was standing outside in the rain, holding a closed umbrella.

* * *

It wasn’t raining anymore the next day. Suzaku got to school early, standing outside and checking his phone impatiently to see if Genbu had said whether he’d come today after all. He’d seemed a little better by the time Suzaku left, so he hoped that a good night’s sleep would help him recover enough. Although, it would be like Genbu to come to school sick anyway. “Don’t wanna miss anything important,” he’d say into his cold prevention mask. And he said Suzaku was the idiot.

Sure enough, Genbu showed up about fifteen minutes later. He looked completely back to normal, much to Suzaku’s relief. He greeted the other yankee and walked over to where Suzaku was leaning against the wall. “Mornin’,” he said, his voice still a little hoarse but mostly sounding just like usual.

“Heya, Genbu!” Suzaku replied cheerily. “Glad you’re feelin’ better! Oh, uh, I’ve got this for ya.” He fumbled around in his bag and pulled out Genbu’s umbrella.

“Oh, thanks. You get home all in one piece?”

“Yeah, no problem at all!” Suzaku tried not to think about how Genbu was worrying for him despite how he was clearly okay. Well, he’d always done stuff like this, but since last night Suzaku couldn’t help but wonder about the implications. “Anyway, uh, you barely seem sick at all now! Got lotsa rest, didn’t ya?”

Genbu nodded. “Yeah, I fell asleep pretty much right after you left. But I think you comin’ is what really helped. Morale boost and all. So, thanks for keepin’ me company.”

Was he really allowed to just  _ say _ things like that? Suzaku could feel himself blushing again. Being around Genbu wasn’t good for his heart right now. “Y-yeah, anytime! Um, I, uh, got a thing to go to, so, I-I’ll see ya later, ‘kay? Bye!” Hurriedly, he waved to Genbu and ran off toward the door, trying to think of what  _ thing _ he could pretend to have gone to. He couldn’t keep this up forever, since they had dance lessons together that afternoon, but even looking at Genbu was sending him into a panic. What was he supposed to do about this?

The school day seemed to drag on even more than usual. Classes where he usually daydreamed about heroes and idols saw his thoughts filled with images of Genbu, and it made focusing somehow more difficult than it usually was. He even attempted to  _ try _ in his algebra class in order to get Genbu’s words from yesterday off his mind. (It didn’t work, and he still didn’t understand algebra.) He managed to avoid Genbu at lunch by claiming that he was going to spend it studying—Genbu was so amazed that he left Suzaku alone immediately—even though it was a complete lie.

But, when the bell rang to signal the end of the day, the jig was up. He had to face Genbu, and his very confusing feelings, at some point.

“Yo, Suzaku. Let’s head over to the agency together,” Genbu’s voice came from the doorway to his classroom, and Suzaku jumped out of his seat. That was faster than expected.

He quickly shoved all his class materials into his bag. “Y-yeah, coming! Let’s go!” He joined Genbu, staring straight forward down the hall as they walked. Normally, he’d be really talkative as they made their way to 315Pro’s office, but today he couldn’t manage to say anything.

They walked a couple blocks silently before Genbu turned to Suzaku. “Oi.”

“What’s up?” Suzaku looked back at him, sure to avoid all eye contact.

“Are ya sure you’re feelin’ okay? You seem out of it.”

“N-no, I’m not sick at all!” Suzaku replied quickly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Genbu frowned. “I ain’t talkin’ about bein’ sick, partner. You’ve been avoidin’ me all day, and ya can’t deny that. What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong, I swear!”

“You’re a terrible liar, Suzaku. Tell me what’s goin’ on.”

Was Genbu onto him? This was a terrible time to have this conversation. What was he gonna do, confess to Genbu in the train station on the way to the office? What if it went badly? They’d still have three hours of dance lessons together afterwards. “Uh… Can we talk about it after practice?”

“Alright, sure. But I’m gonna hold you to that,” Genbu said, and Suzaku nodded.

They didn’t talk much on the rest of the way to the office. Suzaku found his nerves going wild—he’d really decided to tell Genbu about all of this. It wasn’t like he could come up with a fake answer; as Genbu said, he was a terrible liar. But he was usually the kind of guy who jumped into things without thinking and acted without worrying. Why was this making him so nervous? It was only confessing that he’d had a sudden realization that he was in love with his best friend and possibly damaging their friendship and teamwork as a unit, thus disappointing their colleagues and all of their fans. Not a big deal at all, right?

He was starting to get a headache.

Practice was a good way to distract him for a little bit, for the most part. When Suzaku was stressed out, exercise was always the best thing he could do to calm himself down, so he put all his nervous energy into dancing. The parts of the choreography where they linked arms and stared into each other’s eyes aside, he felt a little more relaxed after three hours of hard work. If only he could’ve done this instead of algebra this morning, he thought with a sigh.

As he sat in the locker room sipping from his water bottle, he heard Genbu’s footsteps approaching him. “Alright, tell me what’s up,” Genbu said, hands on his hips and eyebrows raised expectantly.

Suzaku looked around rapidly. “H-here? In the locker room?!”

“Relax, we’re the only ones in here,” Genbu sighed. “Figured I’d talk to you before you could run outta here. So, out with it.”

He really had to do this, didn’t he. There was no escape now. Suzaku inhaled sharply and stared at the tiled floor.

“So, uh, remember yesterday, when I came to take care of ya cuz you were sick, right? And ya went to sleep, and a little while later I came to check on ya?” he began nervously.

Genbu narrowed his eyes. “It’s a little fuzzy in my memory, but I remember you comin’ in. Where are you goin’ with this?”

“Well, uh… D’ya remember sayin’ anythin’?” Suzaku asked, cautiously looking up at Genbu.

“…Nothin’ in particular, I think? I told ya I was tired, and then I fell asleep.”

Oh, of course he didn’t remember. Suzaku frowned. He’d hoped jogging Genbu’s memory would help him remember what he said, but… no dice. “I guess your fever was buggin’, but ya… said a little more than that.”

“Did I?”

“Uh… y-yeah. Ya did.” Suzaku took a deep breath. “You thanked me for takin’ care of ya, uh, a-and…” He froze.

“And?” Genbu urged, crossing his arms.

“And ya said ya loved me,” Suzaku said quietly. He squeezed his eyes shut, but when Genbu didn’t respond, he nervously opened them and looked back up at him.

Genbu’s eyes were wide, a small tint of pink spreading across his cheeks, and his left hand covered his mouth. “I… I said  _ what?” _

Suzaku jumped to his feet and grabbed Genbu’s shoulders, only surprising the taller boy more. “You said ya  _ loved _ me,” he said, nearly shouting, “and it’s been drivin’ me  _ nuts _ ever since, cuz I can’t stop thinkin’ about it, and if ya really love me, a-and I realized I think I love ya too, and I’ve never thought about  _ anythin’ _ this hard, Genbu, I didn’t know what to do, I—”

“Suzaku.” Genbu’s voice made him stop his frenzied rambling immediately, and he looked up at Genbu carefully. “Just, take a moment to calm down before I say anythin’.”

“Sorry,” Suzaku mumbled, sighing deeply and trying to even out his breathing.

“Oi, don’t apologize. I’m feelin’ just as overwhelmed as you are,” Genbu said, patting Suzaku’s shoulder gently. “To think you’d return my feelings, it’s… I’m happy, really.”

“S-so, you meant it? You really do… you  _ love _ me?”

“This is… far from how I woulda wanted to tell ya, but… yeah. I do. I’ve loved ya for a while, Suzaku.”

Those words felt like a million tons lifted off of Suzaku’s chest. He pulled Genbu into a tight hug, laughing into his shoulder, and he felt Genbu’s hands wrap around his waist comfortingly. “ _ Genbuuuuuuu!” _ he cried, almost on the verge of tears from the sheer relief and happiness from knowing that Genbu loved him, and he loved Genbu too, and in that moment everything seemed to be right in the world. He finally loosened his bear hug a little bit just to look up at Genbu and see the warmest, most genuine smile that he’d ever seen on Genbu’s face.

Breathlessly, he stared up at Genbu with a ridiculous grin. They stayed there like that for a moment, just smiling at each other ecstatically, but after a while Suzaku realized one of them would have to say something eventually. “So, uh… now whadda we do?”

“Huh?” Genbu furrowed his brows. “Whaddaya mean?”

“Like… I dunno how this  _ dating _ stuff works. Are we dating? Is that how this goes?”

Genbu chuckled. “I… I guess so?”

“So you’re my boyfriend?” Suzaku asked.

“Y-yeah, if you want,” Genbu said, his blush deepening noticeably.

“‘Kay! So, like, what do boyfriends do? We go on dates, right? And stuff like that?”

“I dunno much about dating myself,” Genbu admitted. “I don’t really read romance novels. But, there’s stuff like, uh, holdin’ hands, and uh… kissin’…”

“Oh, right! Wait, u-uh…”  _ Kissing? _ Suzaku thought he was going to explode on the spot. The thought of kissing Genbu was… well, he certainly didn’t  _ not _ want to, but it made his heart do a full gymnastics routine.

“We can take it slow, y’know,” Genbu reassured him. “If you’re nervous, it’s okay to—”

“N-no, I ain’t nervous at all! I ain’t a coward!” Suzaku exclaimed, fumbling around for a moment before grabbing Genbu’s hand in his own. His grip was stiff, and his palm was sweaty, but he still felt himself heating up from the realization that  _ what the hell, I’m holding Genbu’s hand, cuz Genbu is my boyfriend now. _

Genbu just laughed. “Suzaku, this ain’t a competition.”

“But you wanted to hold hands too, didn’t you?”

“I can’t deny it,” Genbu sighed.

“And do you wanna kiss me?” Suzaku was just about yelling now, as he was prone to do when he felt fired up like this. He couldn’t help it.

“O-oi, keep it down, Suzaku.”

“Well? Do ya?” Suzaku asked, more quietly this time.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then kiss me.”

Genbu jumped. Suzaku hadn’t meant to get him so flustered, but Genbu’s red face said otherwise. Had he been too forward? “Why are ya makin’ me do it?!” Genbu managed after a few moments.

Suzaku pouted. “Cuz I did the hand-holding, so now it’s your turn. Or are you a coward, huh?”

“I-I ain’t a coward either!” Genbu said quickly. He took a deep breath. “Fine. C’mere.”

His shaking hand gently rested on Suzaku’s burning cheek, the other squeezing his hand tightly, and his eyes locked with Suzaku’s for a moment before closing as he leaned in slowly. Was Suzaku supposed to close his eyes too? Was that how kissing worked? He shut his eyes carefully just in case and focused on taking deep breaths. When he felt Genbu’s lips softly brushing against his own, his first instinct was to flinch away in embarrassment. On second thought, though, it felt pretty nice. The kiss didn’t last very long, only a few seconds, but Suzaku’s nerves began to melt away into a much more pleasant, floaty feeling. Was this how kissing always felt? His stomach was full of butterflies, but in a nice way. He could get used to this, he decided.

After Genbu pulled back, Suzaku opened his eyes. He only just realized that Genbu’s hand was still on his cheek, and that they were still holding hands, and that Genbu was looking at him with wide eyes, his lips parted just a little bit, as if he wanted to say something but he couldn’t figure out what.

Suzaku cleared his throat. “So, uh. About that  _ dating _ thing.”

“Yeah?” Genbu asked, gently taking his hand off of Suzaku’s face and stuffing it into his pocket.

“You, uh… You wanna grab dinner after this? Call it a date?”

Genbu snorted, looking down at their practice outfits and then at their school uniforms that lay on the bench. “We don’t have the right clothes for anything nice, but we can get pizza or somethin’.”

“Hell yeah! Let’s get dressed and go!” Suzaku cheered. He let go of Genbu’s hand and quickly went to go change back into his school clothes.

As they were leaving the office, Ken approached them with a smile. “You two know your schedule for tomorrow, right?” he asked. Genbu and Suzaku nodded. “Great, then have a good night! Oh, and have fun on your date!”

Before they could respond, Ken shuffled into another room and shut the door.

Had he really overheard all that? Imagine confessing that you’re in love with your best friend in front of Yamamura Ken. Suzaku shuddered at the thought. Well, that was… humiliating.

He turned to Genbu, and he was about to speak when he was interrupted by a sneeze.

“Oh, no,” Genbu groaned.

“Yeah, that was kinda embarrassing, huh?”

“No, not that. I’m not worried about Ken-anisan. But, I told ya not to get sick, didn’t I?”

Suzaku let go of Genbu’s hand and jumped back. “Hey, it ain’t  _ my _ fault! You’re the one who kissed me even though you’re still sick!”

“I ain’t that sick anymore. Don’t blame me.”

“You don’t even know that I’m sick! I just sneezed one, it happens!”

“I don’t wanna take any chances.”

“So, if I do get sick, are you gonna skip school to take care of me, so we’re even?” Suzaku prodded, a mischievous grin crossing his face.

Genbu paused for a moment, before smiling gently. “I guess I’d have to, huh?”

**Author's Note:**

> What if we kissed in your apartment while i was spoon-feeding you soup and taking care of your stupid sick ass (and we're both dudes)
> 
> anyway i just think that shinsoku kiss and hold hands. thanks for listening


End file.
